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A Hint of Blood in the Air - Riding the Beast
Saturn Notes

The concept behind this ritual was: if you can't avoid a negative energy influence, you may as well channel it into a form which is useful.  I have some experience channeling dark and destructive energies and this approach has been very helpful in the past.  If you do it right, you can get as much benefit from a negative energy as the light based positive energies.

The setting was very simple: 3 black candles, one them in the shape of a skull, some incense: frankincense and mandrake, appropriate to a powerful godform.

I had previously located Saturn's exact location in the sky from this handy websiteThus I addressed my invocation directly to Saturn, and drew the appropriate hexagrams over him.
There was a feeling of palpable heaviness, pulling me in the direction of Saturn, as if his gravitational field had ensnared me.  Once I started reciting the invocation, the energy got fairly intense rather quickly.  There are some rituals where you know right away that it is going to be a powerful one.  This was one of those.  I knew that for good or ill, what I spoke would come to pass.

I reached out psychicly to create a link with Saturn and used that to communicate my intent to him.  This was quite effective when combined with my knowledge of his position in relation to my own.  I literally projected my intent out across the millions of miles separating us.  When I meditated on my own death, it hit quite hard on an emotional level.  I came to a very real grasp of what death is and what it will mean to me personally when the time comes.  When I invited him in, I opened myself up to him energetically and was flooded with Saturnian energy, which I did my best to channel into my Will.  This may have been a touch arrogant in hindsight, but it was worth a shot.  I learned Saturn is not some minor demon whose energy can so easily be redirected from its path.  I just saw an incredible tidal wave of death bearing down on me and felt my only chance at survival was to try to ride it.  I even had some success in the beginning. 

Throughout the entire experience, I regularly and consistently made attempts to channel the destructive energy into productive ends, such as ridding myself of unneeded or counterproductive persona aspects.  I frequently called on the benevolent aspects of the darker Binah forces.  What effect these efforts had, if any, is unknown.  I simply don't know what was in store for me prior to these exertions so there is nothing to compare the result I saw to.  It didn't feel like they had much effect, but maybe things would have been much worse without them.

Much of the invocation is written to Saturn as a personification of Death in both an archetypal and literal sense.  Only much later did I learn that this was a misguided approach.  After reading Dr. Svoboda's wonderful book on Saturn and the Sadi Sati experience, which is an Eastern equivalent to the Saturn return, I saw so many parallels with my own experience that I came to realize Saturn is not a personification of a blind force like death or decay or entropy, but a real, living, intelligent and aware being.  A true god.  Apparently what happened to me is very similar in nature to what has been happening for thousands of years to people when Saturn comes to rule thier life.  The reason behind this malefic influence and mechanism of its action are a most vexing mystery.

The Saturn experience is a bit like being forced to carry a heavy load on your back over an impossible distance, surrounded on all sides by poisonous snakes and scorpions.  The sooner you accept that you will fall and be bitten and stung, the easier it is to get on with things.  While it is tempting to equate the influence of Saturn as simply bad luck or Murphy's Law raised to the nth power, this is an oversimplification.  Calling it "bad luck" fails to take into account the planning and directed intent behind it.  The experience is personalized, based on one's own personal hopes, fears, dreams, desires, karmas, things you hold dear.  It is an intimate form of torure, performed by one who knows you deeply inside and out.  I have to give Saturn due credit though, if you are going to torment someone, it should be done with as much planning, cunning, attention to detail, and excellence as this.  There is that little extra touch that makes the experience unique.

But his force acts not only from without but within as well.  All your bad habits, irrational behaviors, and demons become magnified.  The impulse to do the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time can become overpowering.  It can get to the point that doing the wrong thing seems the only thing possible to do.  It is insidious, but if you can avoid giving into your own weakness, you can at least keep from compounding your external misery.

Of the Ordeals themselves, I will speak not, save to say that they are unspeakable.

These few tips may prove worthwhile, if you happen to find yourself in Saturn's sphere of influence.

1. There is a limit to the suffering.  This is decided in advance, though you can through your own actions create additional suffering for yourself.  You can take your suffering fast or slow, but you will get every last bit of it. 

2. How much suffering you get is largely determined based on your strength and capacity.  If you get a lot, it means Saturn thinks highly of you.  He does show a measure of retraint and dignity.  Don't however, assume that anything is off the table.  Death, disfigurement, incurable disease, anything goes really.

3. There is no way to avoid it, so don't bother trying.  In fact, trying to avoid one bit of suffering may just be what pushes you into something worse.  Most likely the trap will be so well laid you will never have the first suspicion until it snaps shut.  Paranoia is just a waste of energy.  You have to drop your guard eventually and He has ways to speed this process along.

What is left at the end is mostly questions.  Why? being a good one.  Though I feel quite certain there is a purpose to it all, even the ancients could only speculate.

The creepy sounds on the page housing the ritual itself are none other than recordings of Saturn himself.  You can download them here.