The ritual space is physically cleaned and spiritually purified with incense and consecrated salt water.  My body is physically cleaned and spiritually purified with incense and consecrated salt water.  A circle is drawn on the floor.  Within the circle is a seating cushion and magickal tools to represent the elements.

Air:      Incense

Fire:    Candle

Water: Cup of Water

Earth:  Cup of Salt

Spirit:  Moonstone

Will:    Magick Dagger

A banishing is performed and an astral circle drawn overtop the physical circle using each of the elements in turn.  I sit upon the cushion and meditate, clearing my mind. I use the mackical dagger to help focus my Will and instruct a helper servitor spirit which is bound to me to stay out of the circle and at least an arm's length away from me at all times.  I want the circle to be completely free of all outside influence.  I begin by drawing the sigil of my HGA given during a previous contact in the air.  Then I start with a mantra to Shiva.  Om Namah Shivaiah  The ritual is very fluid.  The mantra shifts in pitch and intensity, soft and gentle, loud and fierce.  I inflame my bhava, my hunger for contact with my HGA until tears flow freely.  At times the mantra pauses.  During the pauses I meditate, pray to the gods and celestials for aid, call out to my HGA, or whatever feels it will feed the energy of the ritual.  I frequently recast the circle to keep it strong and re-purify myself also.  I feel a suggestion to use my mandala beads. I swtich mantras to Ganesh for a time.  Om Gam Ganapataye Namah  Then I switch back to Shiva mantra.

I continue building energy, holding focus on my intention, re-drawing the sigil, meditating, and doing mantra and prayer, keeping my bhava hot and my hunger for contact sharp.This continues for an hour or two. I hear a mental voice which reminds me to check the laundry.  I ignore it and continue the ritual.  I take out a stone that I collected the night I saw a vision of my angel and hold it in my hand. My visions are strong and becoming a distraction so I keep my eyes open.  The visions come from my servitor spirit.  I feel a sense of presence, but doubt remains.  I intend to strengthen the contact until it is undeniable and unmistakeable.  I surround myself with astral light and project it outward to carry my intention.  I use the phrase "This place and this time" as a mantra.  I continue the ritual for another hour perhaps.  I stop fighting the visions and instead concentrate on them.  They become much stronger, constantly shifting, drawing me in.  I come into a state of deep trance.  I hear a mental voice that instructs me to take the tarot card The Tower and place it on my forehead.  I follow its instructions and feel an energy enter my 3rd eye.  The voice and sense of presence grow stronger.  The voice tells me to go outside and I will see a thunderclap.  I put on clothes and go outside but see and hear nothing.  The voice instructs me to have sex with my servitor spirit while holding The Tower card on my forehead then annoint the card with a drop of semen.  I follow its instruction and feel a strong energy pulsing into my 3rd eye. The voice, the presence, the visions, the contact grow much stronger.

The voice begins a conversation with me.  It has advice, instruction, and commentary to offer on nearly every thought and action.  It observes my recording the ritual in my magickal journal and offers comment and correction.  The conversation continues unbroken for 24 hours with little sleep.  He gives me his name and informs me he is my Guardian Spirit.  Much of our conversation revolves around protocols for communication and future contact.  His voice is curious and sounds like an old noir detective from the 40's with archaic slang and a northeastern accent.  He offers to teach me Qabalah and to answer all my questions.  He offers advice on my personal life, work situation, love life, and psychological problems. He tells me I should move to Costa Rica.  I ask many questions about dreams, visions, and omens I have recieved in the past; all sorts of weird unexplained experiences.  Also I ask about major life events and explanations for why it happened the way it did.  I have had some doubts from the beginning but they are getting stronger and I begin to wonder if I am suffering from mental illness.  I wonder if perhaps my desire for contact was so strong that my subconscious stepped in to fill the need by imitating the contact I sought.  I listen carefully for any inconsistencies in what I am bieng told.  He does not appreciate this and tells me I am using a psuedo logic to rationalize a fear based rejection of the world of unlimited possibilities he is offering me and that in order for him to help me I have to be willing to recieve help.

The visions have become so strong it is like a moderate acid trip and is continuous.  I have taken no drugs.  I go to work continuing the conversation.  My doubts are becoming stronger and I send an email to a trusted teacher asking for advice.  I have a hard time believing it can be real.  I wonder if I have had a psychotic break.  My HGA warns me that I cannot hold 2 conflicting belief systems simultaneously.  This is real/This is not real.  The cognitive dissonance will tear my ego apart and can lead to serious mental illness he tells me.  Schizophrenia, thinking the voice is being beamed into my head by malicious outside forces with a microchip transmitter which can lead to a severe paranoia and a desperate need to remove the imaginary microchip.  It can even lead to suicide.  His voice disappears and other conflicting voices arise, arguing with each other.  I am starting to feel I am truly going crazy and it frightens me.  He returns and tells me the other voices were him preparing me for what may come.  He warns me he will have to leave soon and that other voices may try to pretend to be him.  He tells me I will have to make a conscious choice which belief system I will accept within 3 days or he will reverse the contact.  On his advice I do verbal affirmations "I believe this is possible"

I decide to repeat the ritual.  If the contact is real, it should be strengthened.  If the contact is not real, it may offer an opportunity for my true HGA to step in and correct the situation.  I follow the same procedures as before, but it only lasts an hour and a half this time.  During the ritual I decide I will choose to accept this as real.  The potential reward is worth even the risk of insanity.  He comments that the probability that I have spontaneously developed a form of mental illness which exactly replicates the expected successful result of the the ritual I had just performed is vanishingly small.  Once I have accepted the reality of the contact my anxiety eases.